Play Out the Track
Here is a helpful trick to address anxious thoughts and fear of the unknown.
The Cycle of Long-Term Anxiety Growth
If you commonly overthink situations or find yourself getting stuck in thought about things that could happen, you are not alone. Our brain’s number one directive is survival, and at times, it does its job so effectively that we are being protected from things that did not pose a risk in the first place. Our mind can not always recognize the difference from an anxiety and a life threatening concern. So what happens? We perseverate, our heart rate and blood pressure rise, and we worry. you may notice yourself losing sleep, feeling stuck or hopeless, and getting in a cycle of avoidance. Anxiety has a habit of growing the more we avoid it and then we might find ourselves responding to “silly” triggers when we aren’t really responding to that event, but rather experiencing the build up of the long-term anxiety. The only way to break the cycle is to challenge it head on. That is why exposure therapies have been found so successful. Challenging a fear allows our mind to recognize the severity is not what we thought it was while aversion builds the “What if?” thoughts until they become unmanageable. Here’s a trick I use with clients in session and encourage them to do in their own time that I call Playing Out the Track.
Let’s Say that It Does
I have always appreciated using images in sessions as they can often help us look at unique problems in unique ways. Anxious thought can feel very constricting to the point where you make a hard stop. With this, I think of a record playing a tune and it starts building up to a peak that may scare us and so we make that horrible scratch noise that comes with stopping abruptly. We were nervous of what was to come next and we stopped it, or so we may think. In reality, we stopped it from resolving. This keeps us in a realm of “What If?” We do not have enough information to answer clearly what might have come, so our mind fills in the blanks, often with more distressing outcomes. We also unintentionally removed the possibility of the situation getting better and coming to its’ natural conclusion. What if the next part of the song was going to be beautiful? What if the lyrics to come would speak directly to our souls? How can we keep ourselves from sticking in the “What If?” Allow what is to come and Play Out the Track. When you catch yourself thinking, “What if this happens?” continue on with, “Let’s say that it does.” Ask yourself questions about how you would handle this worst case scenario and what might get you to the other side of it. If it is something inevitable, try the same thing and instead of resisting it, honor that it is a fact for your journey which can either be resisted or accepted. Let’s go over some examples.
What If Examples
What if I don’t get the promotion?
Let’s say that you don’t, what then?
Could you set up a feedback session with your boss and create a development plan with a set deadline to move into that role?
What might it look like to explore other opportunities with different employers?
Is it time to re-examine the amount you are putting into your work? Are you doing too much or too little?
What if they breakup with me?
Let’s say that they do, what then?
Would you want to remain in a relationship where you are doubting the outcome or the level of commitment from your partner?
What are things that you are looking for in the relationship that you could create more of within yourself?
Could it help to have a direct conversation with your partner to address concerns and improve communication?
What if I can’t do it?
Let’s say that you can’t, what then?
Is it something that you can ask for help with?
Is this a skill that you would like to develop? Where might you start? How do you best learn new things?
What are some things that you once imagined you could never do that you have now made possible?
What if I die?
Let’s say that you will, what then?
What might you do today differently if you knew your time was limited?
Are there any regrets that need amends to be made so that you can lay them to rest?
What is most important to you in life? Are you living true to those values? What things matter and what can be set down?
Consider Asking a New Question
Once you have done some of the work to Play Out the Track, try replacing the anxious energy with some excitement and start asking yourself, “What do I stand to gain?” All of that time spent thinking “What if?” could be directed towards reminding yourself why this is important to you in the first place. What might you like about the new role if you receive the promotion and how could your life improve as a result? What would it feel like if you strengthened your relationship to the point where you felt secure or if you found a new relationship that was everything you wanted and more? Why is the task important for you to complete and what will it feel like once you finally accomplish it? Our thoughts and energy are incredibly powerful forces, use them to empower yourself. An anxious thought is only a thought, but a person in action can create something great!
Where have you noticed yourself getting stuck? What would it look like to play out the track and put some of those anxious thoughts to rest? Give these tricks a try and feel free to comment below with tools of your own that have aided you in overcoming anxious thoughts.
