Book of the Month: Dark Nights of the Soul - Thomas Moore
For Companioning Your Journey’s first Book of the Month, Thomas Moore’s, “Dark Nights of the Soul: A Guide to Finding Your Way Through Life’s Ordeals”.
About the Author and Publication
With over 20 books to their name, along with several other publications, Thomas Moore is a prolific writer and speaker with an emphasis in works of the soul. Former monk, psychotherapist, and professor, Moore lectures across the globe with the mission of creating a “more soulful society”. Originally published in 2004, this book continues to show up with an impact on each read. Here is a brief excerpt that shares a good deal about the works, “Every human life is made up of the light and the dark, the happy and the sad, the vital and the deadening. How you think about this rhythm of moods makes all the difference.”
Key Take Aways
Overall Premise
This book explores a feeling that most all of us have experienced at one point or another. The times intimately acquainted with darkness, depth, and a churning numb that leaves your soul feeling depleted. We often think of this time as something that we must either push away or muscle through. The author poses another idea, and as I have found, a much more effective means of managing these dark nights. Listen to them. Hear what they have to say. Depression is not a defect or simply a symptom; it is a signal. A sign that things need to change or that there is something you need to ask for or offer yourself.
Rites of Passage
We move through life in stages. This dark night is not something that will last forever if we view it not as a problem to fix or something to be endured, but rather as a chance for growth and restoration. Let this moment of darkness be a turning point to the next stage where you care for yourself, grow exponentially, and provide yourself the things that your soul needs. I found myself deeply impacted when I transitioned into this new stage of life where I could feel the depth, allow it, and trust myself to return on the other side.
Surrendering
One of the most intimidating things one could ever do is to surrender themselves to another or to oneself. Surrendering to our emotions is something that simply is not common place in our culture. There is an idea that we do not have time for how we are feeling and that we need to remain in a perpetual state of being busy. This merely prolongs and increases the time we feel unwell. Avoiding in the moment may provide temporary relief, but that avoidance will lead to increased anxiety and depression growth. Only in approaching head on can we get closer to what we need to be whole.
Wounded Healer
Going through our own dark night does not make us weak and it does not make us unable to help others in their time of need. Experiencing our own depths in life helps us to meet others in their own depths. I struggled deeply with my desire to help others and being in so much internal pain. I doubted myself and wondered if I was truly able to do this work. This book helped normalize this experience and show that it was possible to feel your depths and help others in their darkness..
The Divine
The book speaks to a trust in the divine, whether that is a higher power, the inner wise-mind, or the part of yourself that acts on instinct. Though we may often forget our prowess, we possess more wisdom than we know. Trust in yourself and believe in the path that your heart is leading you towards. You will see your way through.
What Made this the Book of the Month
There is a reason that this read made the first Book of the Month. When I first came across it, I was experiencing one of the most trying times of my life, feeling hopeless, and dark. When I was assigned this book for one of my courses, I had no idea how much I needed it. For the first time, I was challenged to think, what if this depression I was feeling was not a malfunction or a symptom to treat but a signal that could help me learn where I need to grow? Since first reading, I have picked this book up twice more when I have found myself in a dark place, needing a reminder to listen to what I am feeling, and see what I might be able to learn from it. I have also had a few clients experiencing their own dark night read this book and provide similar feedback.
Conclusion
If you find yourself in a dark night, know that you are not alone, you are not the problem, and you can be the solution. Listen to yourself with compassion, curiosity, and kindness.
What has been one of your most impactful reads? Are there any that you feel like more people should get their hands on? Let me know and I would be happy to read and review in a future post!
