You Could Be Someone’s Butterfly
You are a powerful force in this world. This post explores how your gifts can impact those around you in remarkable ways.
You Have Power
At the time of this post, there are approximately 8 billion people on earth. Just imagine the countless number of stories that we will never hear, the lives that we will never know, and that even in this moment, while you read this post, there are people opening their eyes for their first or last time. Even in a walk through a park, a drive on the highway, or time at a stadium, we come into contact with more people than we could possibly track. We might be seeing someone on the best or the worst day of their life. You never know how far someone has been pushed or how much they might need to see some compassion and care. By being kind, by saying hello, by offering help, you may very well impact someones life. You have incredible power to touch those around you. Do not waste it. In this post we will explore two examples of how small acts of kindness can lead to tremendous impacts.
Butterfly Project
Sometimes people carry their pain on their skin. Self-harming is unfortunately what some use as a means to seek release from pain. Although it seems that this has decreased in prevalence, it is currently estimated that approximately 15% of the population will engage in self-harming behaviors in their lifetime. Self-harm is not limited to a certain age group or a certain act. Therapy and even some medications have been found to help support individuals in reducing self-harm. It has also been found to be helpful to identify means of receiving sensation without injury such as holding an ice cube, stretching/exercising, putting on lotion, or drawing on your skin. This idea, of coloring on your skin, brought about the Butterfly Project.
The idea behind the butterfly project is fairly simple. Someone who is engaging in self-harming behaviors and wanting to stop will think of someone that they love, someone who has done something kind for them, or something they care about. They will then put a butterfly on their wrist, thigh, or wherever they tend to self-harm. The goal is to not wash off the butterfly and let it fade naturally, and that it will serve as a reminder of the love that is out there for the person. Another piece of this idea is that those who are trying to support someone reducing their self-harm will put a butterfly on their own skin as a reminder. When I first heard about this project, it struck me as a reminder that through random acts of kindness and genuine care towards others, you could end up being someone’s butterfly.
Kyle’s Story
Here is an example of how far a small act of kindness can go. This is a rewritten version (by an anonymous author) of a short story, “A Simple Gesture”, by John W. Schlatter, published in 1993 in a collection of short stories, “Chicken Soup for the Soul”.
“One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friend tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Damn boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the smiles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him! Boy, sometimes I was jealous.
Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach ... but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person’s life. For better or for worse.”
Use Your Power
Every day that you wake up, you have the opportunity to touch someone’s life. Through small actions, you are planting seeds that one day may give another shade. Just think, today you could be somebody’s reason. You could be a reminder that there are people who will stop and help pick up books. You could be a butterfly on someone’s arm. You have power. Go out and use it!