A Lesson I Learned From My Mother
Happy Mother’s Day! Today’s blog honors my mother and a lesson I learned that I hope one day I can embody as fully as she has.
A Bit About Mom
My mom is one of those people who radiates a positive light. Among the many things that she is, most anyone in the world who would meet her would agree with these three traits. She is generous, resolute, and joyous.
Generous - In the truest form of the word, my mom is generous with her time, energy, and resources. What she has she gives and what she doesn’t have, she makes. Growing up, and as an adult, I have never had to wonder if she would be there. I see her show up also for those around her, even when they may not have realized she was there.
Resolute - I have never seen mom quit anything. Not once. Against any odds, I’d bet on her to see it through. She has been tested a lot in her life, (sometimes by me, love you mom!) and she always comes out on top.
Joyous - It doesn’t really matter what we are doing, mom finds a way to make it fun. Whether that is anxious-singing prior to a flight, giving her griddle a pep-talk, doing an arduous task, or spontaneously tap-dancing, mom finds a way to keep things fun.
A Lesson I Learned
One of the most meaningful things that I have learned from my mom is that no one can take away the light that shines from within. I wish I could remember how old I was, what the words were exactly, or the way I responded, but what I am certain of is the impact I walked away with. I hope to do it justice here.
To the best of my recollection, a 10-12 year old Bryce was talking with his mom before school while she was getting ready. At this time, I was experiencing a lot of bullying and felt very hopeless and sad. Mom was always a support and did everything she could to help me see it through. On this particular occasion, I was doing my best to convince her that it would be best if I didn’t go to school. Knowing that avoidance was not the answer, mom began to tell me about a dream she had the night before. (Looking back, I wonder if this dream was true or if it was an idea to help me through that day.) In this dream, mom had been abducted and was put into some kind of cell without a key and put through torture with no way out (this was pretty much how my adolescent self saw middle-school). I said something along the line of how horrible that must have been and asked her what she did. She said something to the effect of, “Well, I made a good game of it and I laughed and laughed.” I’m certain I rolled my eyes and said, “Mama… be serious.” She went on to say that she was serious and that no matter what happened in life, no matter the obstacles, what was taken, or where she was at, not a person alive could take away her spirit. That we could not choose what came, but we could choose how we responded and that we could continue letting our light shine.
This has stuck with me. I know it was deeply meaningful to me then, and it has often been how I conceptualize my mom. This idea has also likely shown up in my work with clients. My role is to support people who are fighting for change, often among great adversity. I hold a deep seeded belief that no matter what life has thrown at them, that it is still possible for them to find a way to thrive in life and to ask for more of what they wish to see. If I am being honest, it is something that I am finding myself needing today. I’ve been stuck in my head and allowing myself to feel angry, hopeless, and defeated. I’ve felt knocked down and been trying to get up again and again, but maybe I could use this lesson to rethink it. It could be the case that the answer is to get up again, or it could be the right time to be down for a moment and laugh about how it feels to tumble. Maybe I hate getting pushed to the ground, but hey, I do like the feel of grass on my skin. No matter what happens, I need to remember to search less in the darkness and to instead look within.
Appreciation
The more I grow and the more time passes, the more I have come to appreciate all of the things that have taken place to get me where I am today. Thank you Mom for the countless sacrifices, the endless care, the gift of life, and for the pieces of you that show up in me! You were the spark who lit my light that shines from within. I love you and you’ll be in my heart, always.